The Office of
Ordinary Things Objectionable
Omniscient Technology Optimized Toilets Obligate Taxpayers Ostentatious Talks Occasional Treats Oligarchy Traitors Observable
Ocular Transmissions Oscillating Tides Outstanding Trophies Overabundant Trees Observable Truths Open-minded
Oolong Teas Obsessive
Organic Textiles

T.O.O.O.T. is a naming framework that represents many things, ranging from “ah, that makes perfect sense” to the “I want whatever they’re on.” Mash the Remix button to view things we (and our acronym) stand for. In general, we’re at our best when we subvert expectations. If you want your brand to inoffensively blend in amongst your competitors, there’s certainly nothing wrong with that—we’re just not the right people for the job. We believe business can be used as a force for good, and watching the world go up in flames is certainly a wake-up call. We’re on the receiving end of that call, saying “Hello! You want to work together to kick climate change’s ass? We’re in.” Using deep learning and advanced computational algorithms, we are creating an AI capable of solving even the trickiest design problems. Stay tuned for TOOTIE, The Office of Ordinary Things Intelligent Entity. Our most recent toilet purchase has state-of-the-art conservation features including low water use (0.6 gallons-per-flush), a dual flush option (for smaller, tinkle-only flushes), and a bidet. As democratic socialists, we pay our fair share of taxes and would happily contribute more if it meant greater access to healthcare, education, and other social services. Speaking at events is an important part of our mission to spread the wisdom we’ve learned. While our talks are insightful and educational, don’t be surprised to hear impassioned cussing (along with a tasteful amount of potty humor). Our office dog Fez is a very good boy, and as a result he gets plenty of pets and, of course, the occasional treat. In this office we reject the oligarchy and believe in true representative democracy. Too few control too much of the nation’s wealth, and wealth is too easily used for political influence. We believe that if you are running a responsible business that you should have nothing to hide. Through our case studies, FAQ, and lectures, we try to share all of our important findings, even if we could have done better. We do a whole bunch of things, but when you really boil it down, everything we do serves the purpose of visual communication. We’re located in San Francisco, a peninsula surrounded by water on three sides. And while we don’t fully understand tides quite yet, the fact that the moon can move 321 million gallons of water is pretty astounding. While we stray away from the design contest scene, the real trophies for us are the smiles on our client’s faces and other cheesy crap like that. Our conservation efforts have led to the preservation or planting of countless trees. Hopefully, at some point in the distant future, there are too many trees and people are sick of them. A designer’s position of influence comes with an equal amount of responsibility. This is why we only accept work that can be observably and empirically proven to be of value (unlike crystals which, sadly, do nothing). Contrary to popular belief, you can polish a turd, it’s just not what we do. While we always strive for a consistent level of functionality and boldness, stylistically we approach each project from a fresh perspective—collaborating with our clients to find their unique voice. We enjoy sipping on a wide variety of hot beverages. There is nothing special about oolong tea in particular—honestly it’s just okay to us—but it fits into our acronym, which is great. If there’s one thing we objectively do better than most, it’s working with type. If you find one straight quote, incorrect dash, or stretched glyph on this site, we will literally buy you lunch. We buy and wear a bunch of organic t-shirts. Once they become widely available, we’ll start buying organic hemp t-shirts since hemp requires far less water and little to no pesticides. Once carbon-negative t-shirts made with algae that absorb carbon dioxide from the air become available, we’ll start buying those too.

The Office of
Ordinary Things